A Christmas Letter

Date 12/08/13

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

As we approach the celebration of the Nativity of our Lord, I find myself pondering the past couple of years. How has your faith been affected by the events that you have lived through? Has it been shaken, strengthened or perhaps even down right diminished? Have you grown closer in relationship with our Lord or further away? Perhaps you find that the relationship hasn’t really changed at all. Have you found what you thought you were looking for? Have you found what you believe you have needed? Do you still feel lost, saddened, empty, abandoned?

None of this is unusual. Even the greatest of the Church’s saints had moments of less than clear beliefs. In the days ahead, I hope to offer, Father God willing, some encouragement. All is not lost. What is past is past and we cannot undo what has been written, but our future remains for us to step into.

In the Christian faith there is often what has been referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. It is a time when you may feel absolutely abandoned by God that he has somehow stopped listening to you and you are left on your own. Notice, please, I said, “feel” like you have been abandoned. It is actually in this dark night, that God is closest to you. It is often during these times that circumstances have come into your lives that are calling to question your faith, patience, endurance, tolerance, hope and any number of other thoughts, traditions or practices. Though not necessarily brought in by God, when we sacrifice these to Him, He will then use the circumstances in order to promote growth for us.

In these winter months the days are shorter and nights longer. There is a physical absence of light in our lives that can be overwhelming. This may be an outward reflection of what you are feeling internally. My hope is to encourage you to continue to press in. Do not lose faith, but use this as a time to diligently seek for a deeper relationship with your Heavenly Father through His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ and allow that relationship to become manifest in your everyday life. You are not alone in this struggle. You are not only in current company of many who have experienced this, including myself, but you are in an eternity of company of so many saints who have come before. Take courage from their stories.

You have a royal destiny and together, we can as a body of believers can change a community. We must, come together in faith. Share with each other our struggles and celebrations getting past that, which would divide us and holding fast to that which would unite us; even Jesus Christ himself. Along this way, I am here for counsel and guidance, you need but ask and we can set up an appointment.

Know this, you are loved. If you haven’t been able to join us in a while, you are also missed. Let us step into the Nativity with the same renewed sense of hope that the Magi had when they approached Bethlehem. A King has been born to us. He is at the right hand of the Father making intercession for us. He will come again. He has sent the Holy Spirit, his first gift. With this in our hearts and minds, we will stand united. We will move as one. We will seek to bring His love and His power to a world desperately in need of it. Do not lose hope. The War has been won; we are merely here to handle the mop up.

Love always, 

Fr. Frank Lockwood

The season

On the trail the golden colors as they hit the ground

Gradually fading giving off the aroma

Of a calling back to days gone by

Friends and faces coming to mind

Missing shadows along the trail distant voices

Left as whispers caught in the wind

Coming back to blend with crisp streams

Of light piercing needled canopies

Highlighting rooted walkways exposed

By trail days gone by as the heart beat

Quickens pulse on the rise slowing the pace

Taking time and a long breath looking to remember

The amber scented leaves of summers

Gone by like so many memories 

Flooding the mind, one more step

Another rise to bring hope

Balanced by sadness for those lost

And or left behind, where have they gone

Like golden fading leaves pushed 

To the ground their scent ever fading

Like the setting of the sun the temperature 

Dropping as breath becomes visible 

Crispness of intake a minor distraction

Until a sound a scent a knowing stirs up

More memories of autumn hunts gone by.

Wolf becomes shepherd

The wolf becomes the shepherd

The hunger painful driving,

An emptiness with gaping jaws

To try all things taste all things

Yet no satisfaction left wanting 

what's next

Over time the salivating

Drooling down the chin

Seeking smelling sniffing and racking

Searching out a prey 

That's never been 

Panic

Always on the move

No resting just waiting

Strengthening of cravings

Driving a heart mad 

Eyes no longer fixed

But blurred vision beyond redemption

Trembling 

What is this that is hunted for

Is there any slaking the thirst

Pulling back the reigns on this driving force

Or fated to implode Ina fit

Of frustration and rage

To thine own self now the enemy be

Till

Collapsed Ina heap

Pile of skin n bones

A cool furnace of breath

Begins to fill the lungs

Heart quickening of a pulse from beyond

New drum beat new song

Waking to a dream

New hunger that need not be satisfied

As predator and prey become

One and the same

New hunt new mission new fields to explore

New hills to run as thirst slaked 

With a new rain

Thanks to new reign

The wolf becomes shepherd

What better protector

Gentle as dove

With canines like razors

Strength upside down in love

Thank you my new master 

Lamb become wolf

Wolf become shepherd

faith and sin

What is our real call as Christians? Is it to legislate a sense of morality? Is it to wave angry fists at those with whom we disagree? Is it to throw insults back at those who insult us?

I truly doubt that our call is any of those above. I believe our call is first and foremost to be in relationship with our Creator through His Son who did the work on the cross by way of his own sacrifice in order to reconcile us back to our heavenly Father. I believe that this call then includes living our lives in such manners that this relationship is expressed naturally in all that we do so that His glory may be reflected back to the world.  We are given the word which outlines the steps in which The Word did this to set the pace for those who would later deny their "self, take up their cross daily and follow" him.

What did this include?

It included touching those who should not, by societal standards, be touched. It also includes sitting with those who were/are considered "unclean", sharing meals, talking with them, revealing the heart of their heavenly Father to them, encouraging them to seek that relationship for their self so that they too may experience that restoration intended from the beginning. He challenged behaviors that did not line up with that relationship. He especially challenged those who claimed that they had that very same relationship but were not living in a manner that reflected the relationship they claimed to have.

He embraced the sinner while rejecting, and literally in some cases physically casting out, the sin. We are called to do the same. As John points out, the world does not need to be judged, because it is judged already. It is condemned already. Therefore, there is little to any reason to work on condemning the world further. In fact, what the world needs, what we as Christians are called to do, is to demonstrate what it is like to be transformed by the renewing of our minds rather than remaining conformed to the ways of this world.

This cannot be legislated. It cannot be forced. It cannot be made to happen. I've tried and know for a fact that you cannot force a horse to drink water. They will yank, pull, twitch, buck and kick, but they will not open their mouth and start to drink just because you are trying to force their face into the trough. Allow the horse time to realize it is thirsty and it will reach into that trough for what will refresh.

The example of a genuine/real/non-hypocritical Christian lifestyle is supposed to give direction for that thirst that we feel rumbling up from that deep unknown place within.

We so often fall back into that pattern that is referred to as original sin. Do you know what it is? No, it is not being naked, nor is it about sex, apples or kiwi (as one person proposed). It is about man's innate desire to be his own god. We want to have all the knowledge in order to have all the control so that we can make things happen the way we want them to happen. I discovered some time ago now, that this just simply doesn't work. There was a saying I heard when a teen but cannot recall who originated it; in the beginning, God created man, in return, man created god.

This perspective allows me to see that all of us are broken. Some hide their brokenness well. Others fail to see where their brokenness begins. Others recognize their brokenness and strive to make up for it--over working, over achieving, trying to make up for it by fixing others, etcetera. I know for certain that I cannot save anyone. I can come alongside them in their grief and share the gifting of love that has been given to me. I can meet them while they are in their own darkness, lost in their own sin and allow them to see the lack of judgment and condemnation in my own eyes. I can share with them my own story of being in darkness and what happened when I began to walk out of the shadows and into the light. I cannot by my own strength, but by His strength flowing through me, meet someone where they are at. It allows me to see with His eyes and notice the person separate from whatever their "stuff" may be (current sin, addictions, abuses, histories and the like). I am called to be a light in the darkness to give proof to the effective working of God in a person's life.

Yet, there is also a truth to the challenge associated with being this light; the message is one of love (God with everything you have and your neighbor as yourself) but does that mean that sin no longer exists? Does love excuse whatever a person would do as long as they do it out of love?

I don't believe so. I believe that in the case of genuine love, it means that we would do what we could in regards to guiding others away from self-harm (and therein lies another debate about what constitutes self-harm and who has the right to interfere).  This may seem like it would then justify legislating morality, yet, it is not. I continue to hold true to the statement made earlier that one cannot legislate morality. We must, though, provide an example that may lead others to this same light that we as Christians have come to know. Not coercion to refrain from sin, but a loving desire to live in a new way.....thanks be to God.

like Paul

It has been a long time coming with little to no word. Recently as I was meditating, a word came that I was in Corinth. Spent time seeking clarity. No, not Corinth New York, but in Corinth from the letter to the Corinthians. It did not make much sense initially, but sparked something internally regarding prayer and meditation.

With that, I came to a new appreciation for the letters that Paul wrote. As I rewound the tape, in the spirit, new perspective started to come. Is Paul nothing more than a male chauvinist? Is all that he is is someone who is controlling, dealing with unresolved inner demons and taking it out on others? Are Paul's letters all about control and intolerance?

Often, this is some of what I have heard as well as what I have some what thought myself. I took the time to meditate after getting the word. I asked about these thoughts and others. Then comes an unusual answer. I had to ask what it was that drove Paul to write the letters he was writing. I had to ask what my motivate him and what was his aim in writing them. In doing so, I also had to ask what the circumstances were that he was sending these words into. Then comes the answer after much thought, prayer and meditation.

The love of a father for a child. The love of the Father for His children. This was the motivation, this was the drive, this is what permeates each of the letters. The desperate love of a parent expressed to children in circumstances that are so perilous that the parent fears for the eternal outcome of the children's lives and very souls. It is that love that moves him.

The light bulb went on. Revelation came. In the process of all of this, the prior thoughts came up and began to dissolve like a sand castle as the waves begin to pull the particles away and reveal a freshly groomed beach of gleaming white sand.  I hear the desperation he feels. I hear the desire that he has for his spiritual son to live into the blessings and spiritual gifts he has been given. I see the desire he has for all of his children to get along and pay closer attention to the important things. The desire that he expresses for them to set aside any petit differences in order to be more focused on the work of the kingdom........

Amazing the change in perspective.

I know now, there is much more reading for me to do. More meditations to be done as well. Thank you God.