messy things

So, pretty funny how much attention gets paid to numerous issues. In fact, it is sometimes rather surprising what people notice and what people do not notice. There are times when I have often have thought something was absolutely obvious and turns out no one noticed. Other times, I thought something was inconspicuous and it turns out that everybody noticed.

For example, I have allowed my facial hair to grow basically every year during the winter. It is a family tradition I recall from childhood. Men in the family were hunters and fishermen. The beards began in October and stayed through ice fishing until March/April. I usually wear a goatee anyways. The beard would often be kept closely cropped, but was there none-the-less. I thought it was obvious....until this past year.

This past year, I decided to give it freedom to grow without limits. The purpose to this was prophetic, basically. With many things, certain issues come out of my childhood. One of those things, that relates to this, is my need for close cut, very neat, items. For example, I once allowed my hair to grow and was able to get it to a point of a pony tail. Yet, as I look back, those days of having a ponytail included always pulling back all my hair as tight as possible. I used multiple levels of hair product in order to keep it from having any "fly aways" or extraneous curls. There is one picture I have of my hair being loose. It was wild, out there, completely untamed. I thought back on that day and if I recall correctly, my mood was similar to that; untamed, wild, a bit out there. Eventually, I had to cut my hair short. The amount of product combined with the tension I was putting on it in order to make sure it complied was causing breakage and balding.

I, being who I am, had to take it to the other extreme. So, for a time, I intentionally shaved my head. I liked to cleanness to the look. It was easy maintenance. With urging from others, though, I eventually grew it back and now maintain a closer cropped head of hair.

The Beard:

Many seemed to notice the beard more so this year. As I thought about it, I think I know why. The closeness of the cut I normally keep was less outstanding given normal men's fashion. I would go a couple of days between shaving even with the goatee--sensitive skin plus dulling razor equals breakouts. So, in the end it is far more reasonable that it is so noticed.

It is even more noticeable to me. As noted earlier, I have an issue with things not being in place. You wouldn't know it by my office, especially my desk, but lack of organization plays havoc on me. Yet, this year, the beard was allowed to grow as it would. I resisted the temptation to get it under control. I outlined the "flyers" to grow periodically grooming with comb or brush to bring them into something resembling unison. This would never last of course. Beards are beards. They grow without any sense of care for each other, the individual whiskers only caring for their self development and sustainability on the field of "face".  Talk about messy! The discord on my face was amazing.

Yet, let it grow I did. It continued to gain size and shape. Colors came through. Flyers grew out. Some whiskers came in straight. Others had varying degrees and directions of curl. Looking at it, I was going crazy. It was course. It was messy. It was a distraction. Until the day I allowed my perspective to be changed. I took a step back from a mirror and looked. The mess was less noticeable. I took another step backwards and another and another. Eventually, as I got a newer perspective, I was able to see that the mess was not as messy as I thought. There was shape to it. There was a sense of the way that it now had a purpose. Suddenly, the messiness wasn't gone, it was now purposeful. A whole new sense.

I continued to let it grow, and will do so until the end of March. I am now looking forward to next fall already when I reengage in the same "experiment".

So, what's the purpose?

The Church.

Yes, the Church. As I looked. As I pondered. I prayed. I sought what it might be that God might be saying. Though, not audibly, I know now what I heard. The Church looks messy when you put it under the microscope. There are places where it is "colored wrong". There are other places wherein the twists and turns fight against each other. It appears unruly as you compare one to another and expectations are in conflict with each other.

All too often, it seems that we approach the Church in the way that I too often approached my beard/hair. We label, have expectations, a desire to control and harsh reactions to that which we do not approve of. Yet, if we allow the quilt work of the church to be seen from our heavenly Father's perspective, this would all change. He does not see all the mess, or should I say, he is far less concerned with the mess, than he is with the overall effect. He sees the beauty of the widow putting the mite in the temple box. He also sees the beauty of the many streams of the church coming together for varied purposes. He sees the beauty of all those inconsistent hairs coming together to form one whole. This is the bride. This is his hope.

Conclusion: I need to back off from judging the messiness and allow myself to see through His eyes the beauty He sees. I have to let my sense of judgment be altered. I have to allow for a dramatic shift in perception. I have to allow my heart to become the same heart that Jesus has....please join me in doing the same